I don’t know if I can do this anymore.
The words keep repeating in my head like the lyrics to a catchy pop song. Most of the time it’s my own exhausted voice, but sometimes it’s his: on the night that my comfy little facade of a life imploded. And I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I am hardly an optimist under the best of circumstances, but my little bit of hope that I have been holding onto for the last month seems to be fleeting.
Holy shit. It’s been a month already. Well I guess that explains why the drudgery of this situation has started to weigh heavier on me. It was already elephant like to begin with. The more time that passes, and the more I am forced to pigeon hole myself into the person he needs me to be right now, the more I fear that this isn’t going anywhere.
Am I really fine? Will I really be okay?