No matter how guarded I am against the harshness of heartbreak it seems to constantly make it past my defenses. Even when I haven’t given my love freely. I let people in even when I don’t realize it, even when I don’t intend to.
I have my heart broken over and over again- by the guys of my dreams and by the guys from tinder whose jokes I couldn’t even pretend to laugh at. I fear what this means, that I am just so desperately looking for someone to love and cherish me that I don’t even care if I don’t feel that way either.
Maybe I should just focus on loving myself and being loved in the ways that matter right now. I can’t break my own heart can I?