I wrote yesterday about praying to God for some sort of answer, and yesterday on my bus ride I feel like I sort of got one. I was listening to music and absently staring out the window. I wasn’t really hearing or seeing anything in particular. I was making observations about the people getting on and off the bus, something that I think every person is guilty of: staring. I was wondering about my personal situation and feeling rather sorry for myself, something that, again, I think everyone is guilty of.
Suddenly the music in my ears rose to my consciousness, and the lyric, I’m the hero of this story, I don’t need to be saved stuck out to me and it felt like a divine answer of some sort. Or perhaps the opposite. I smiled briefly to myself and then played the song over again.
Here it is for your listening pleasure.
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
One of my best friends is a hair stylist and used me as a model for her avant garde day at school. Pretty neat, huh? It was super fascinating seeing all of them working really hard (for about three hours) on their models and creating these really interesting hairstyles out of nothing. I think even stranger was looking in the mirror after my hair and makeup was all done and not recognizing myself.
It is funny to me how much makeup and a different hairstyle can shift our appearance. Funnier still is how much a change in thought patterns can alter the way we view ourselves. I often see my own reflection and I don’t recognize the person looking back at me. I’ve changed a lot in the last year and mostly it’s in the way I think.
Last night I was in a difficult place. I was alone in the apartment for the second night in a row. I am not very religious, but I was laying in bed praying to the stucco ceiling. I was praying for answers, I was praying for some sort of sign that I’m not alone. I fell asleep in the small hours of the morning still muttering the word please under my breath.
My point being, is that we can change our appearances during the day and then wash it all off at night. Then we lay in beds and face the inevitable fact that we are who we are, no amount of hairspray or makeup can change it. Lately, I haven’t liked that person very much, but I’m working on changing her, because she is totally worth loving.
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
If you haven’t guessed by now, my name is Megan and I am here to write, for you and for me. If you’re reading this, you, like me, appreciate the written word. I have always been fascinated by the phenomenal power of mere sentences on a page. They hold the capacity to create entire worlds within the confines of our minds. Words, they can make us laugh and they can make us cry.
I will be satisfied if I am able to make you take time from your busy day just to read what I have to say, everything else is just a gift.
Also, this is my face.