I’m feeling a little bit lost in myself today, like I’m in some sort of dream-like state. The edges of my mind will not focus and everything passes me by in a haze. I lay here sipping tea, daydreaming, and then slowly turn to see my door standing ajar. I never leave my door open. But there it is, wide open.
I am at a place in between dreams. With all the chaos and excitement of the last few days, having today to settle down and reflect makes it all feel unreal. How could it be real? That after all this time, after convincing myself that there must be something wrong with me and that maybe I just needed to stop looking- it’s happened. I’m being vague, I know; it is intentional. For I fear so greatly even saying out loud what it is that I think I have found, because then it may slip through my fingers before I have even been able to fully grasp it.
But I think that my door is finally opened.