I have been feeling very inconvenienced lately by my own… Feelings. I have sat frustrated, tears in my eyes with a sense of panic and anxiety over the prospect of loving again and whatever that brings with it. I’ve been allowing this all to hurt me rather than to be the gift that it is. Yes, it isn’t simple, it’s complicated and with challenges as everything is in life. But I have realized what a privilege it is in this life just to be able to feel things- to be able to, after all the struggle and pain I have felt, to be able to still hand myself over to the tidal wave of emotion that is love and life.
It is a gift to feel and even though it is tumultuous and inconvenient I have decided to just embrace it. Because I should really be all hardened and bitter after what I’ve gone through, but I’m not. I am still so open to the possibility that what I believe I deserve is out there for me. Because it is, it has to be!
So here’s me, turning over a new leaf. And yeah, maybe in a weeks time I will be back here typing out some sob story of how love is bullshit and I don’t deserve it, but here we are now- hoping.