I’ve fabricated myself. I have created a version of Megan that is completely romanticized. I stand up to people who are rude to me and I dance when I like the song that is playing. Because that’s what I want to be like, if my fear didn’t get in my own way. I sit quietly in the corners of my own life watching things unfold, rather than making them happen.
So does that mean that I will forever live in uncertainty waiting for the answers to my questions, rather than seeking them?
No, I refuse. I need to be more than mediocre and forgettable.