One of my best friends is a hair stylist and used me as a model for her avant garde day at school. Pretty neat, huh? It was super fascinating seeing all of them working really hard (for about three hours) on their models and creating these really interesting hairstyles out of nothing. I think even stranger was looking in the mirror after my hair and makeup was all done and not recognizing myself.
It is funny to me how much makeup and a different hairstyle can shift our appearance. Funnier still is how much a change in thought patterns can alter the way we view ourselves. I often see my own reflection and I don’t recognize the person looking back at me. I’ve changed a lot in the last year and mostly it’s in the way I think.
Last night I was in a difficult place. I was alone in the apartment for the second night in a row. I am not very religious, but I was laying in bed praying to the stucco ceiling. I was praying for answers, I was praying for some sort of sign that I’m not alone. I fell asleep in the small hours of the morning still muttering the word please under my breath.
My point being, is that we can change our appearances during the day and then wash it all off at night. Then we lay in beds and face the inevitable fact that we are who we are, no amount of hairspray or makeup can change it. Lately, I haven’t liked that person very much, but I’m working on changing her, because she is totally worth loving.